IT'S GOOD NEWS

Trumpty Dumpty Sat On A Wall

12 May 2016 | Ross Jones

So, this week I’ve been thinking a lot about the current political climate in the US. And coming to terms with just how depressing a thought Donald Trump is. That someday soon we could be starting sentences with “President Trump” isn’t quite giving me sleepless nights just yet, but my appetite is down and the world certainly seems a few shades greyer.

I want to start by saying that I like Americans. I’ve lived with them, travelled with them and, during a brief visit in 2012, I found them to be, on the whole, a friendly and big-hearted bunch – if a little (a lot, too much) overly patriotic and ignorant of almost all things non-American (though I guess that’s to be expected when your born to the world’s premier superpower and your entertainment industry has, over more than half a century, become a byword for a sort of cultural imperialism). So I find it hard to accept this clamour for Trump.

I can’t quite wrap my head around how a country that, only eight short years ago, inaugurated its first black president, and “Great American Hope”, Barack Obama, could allow the possibility of Trump, without doubt the “Great American Dope”, to take up residence in the White House.

It really is the worst case scenario isn’t it? I mean, how is it even possible that a country could regress that rapidly?

To remind ourselves, this is a man whose solution to Mexican immigration is to put up a wall. Seriously. You didn’t read that wrong. There is no typo. He wants to put up a wall. A wall. To keep Mexican’s out. That’s his answer. A wall – the same strategy (and I use that word loosely) that a sulky, 5-year-old kid would deploy to keep you out of his fort. Is Donald going to build his wall out of cushions and pillows as well? I wouldn’t be surprised. You know nothing, Don Trump.

But the saddest thing about Trump – yes, sadder than watching as he barks lazy racist stereotypes out from under that golden war-crime of a wig, his face turning red like sunburn as he works himself into a frenzy – is that I’m not entirely sure how much of what he says he actually believes.

I’m not convinced that this isn’t some bizarre exercise in political PR. The spin being that any publicity is good publicity, no matter how crude and tasteless. Because Trump’s policies (if he has any, aside from wall building that is) aren’t a part of the conversation. At least not in any meaningful way. Trump is the conversation. It’s all him. It’s all about how Donald Trump takes no prisoners. Never apologises when he is wrong. How Donald Trump lays the blame of terrorism – ignoring all other global socio, political and economic drivers – at the feet of one people and their religion.

It’s all about how Trump is here to take back America from the far-too-liberal left. And it seems like the people might just agree with him. Well if you want it that badly Donald you can have it, because I suspect if you do get in, the Mexicans will put up that damn wall themselves. 

I can only hope this is some sort of PR stunt, and that if the day should come to pass that President Trump is sworn in, that he will burst out laughing and say, “Fooled you! I did it all for the oval office. You people bought this nonsense. Get real. Now let’s talk politics. How about new gun control legislation?”

A slim chance, but what a PR stunt that would be.