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GDPR Snooze button

23 May 2018 | Jo Doverman

If you have an email address – of course you do – then I’m 100% certain your inbox has been filled with GDPR spam this week. Am I right?

From the emails which are tippy-toeing around the edge of the topic and luring you in with light-hearted conversation, to full blown begging pleas for you not to unsubscribe, every UK company is contacting their database asking for permission to continue dishing out the marketing emails.

It’s been a year in the making, this whole ‘GDPR’ drama. The legislation is a legal requirement and comes into force on 24th May. Whilst it is incredibly important that people – you, me, your neighbour - have the right to know how companies use their data, it’s also been a total minefield to know what’s the right thing to do.

Can we just update our privacy policy? How many emails pleading for popularity can we send before sounding desperate? Shall we just scrap our email marketing completely?!

Like with most legal requirements, there is lots of jargon amid the basic instructions on how to comply, which is utterly boring and yawn inducing. But, non-compliance could result in hefty fines: €20million or 4% of company turnover – yikes!

So if you are finding yourself up at night, worried sick as to how many of your 200 thousand email subscribers will officially re-subscribe by the 24th so you can continue to send them your latest offers, discounts and news – then fear no more!

Like most people, if you don’t have time to digest the why’s and where-fore’s buried deep within the GDPR document, which would take hours to read, why not listen to what is essentially a ‘quit smoking’ hypnotherapy-style recording for GDPR regulations.

Calm, the number one app for sleep and meditation, has released ‘the GDPR bedtime story’ to help combat insomnia.

In response to the mixed messages and sleepless nights that many marketing bods are experiencing lately, Calm have added the GDPR tale to their ‘Sleep Stories’ collection. The bedtime story aims to lull you into a deep slumber, to leave you feeling totally chilled (whilst also subconsciously brainwashing your mind with all things GDPR).

Narrated by former BBC announcer, Peter Jefferson, you’ll be treated to his soothing tones for around 40 minutes – and that’s only an extract from the full 107 page GDPR introduction! If you don’t nod off through that, don’t worry because there are further extracts from the “more relaxing articles that make up the heart of the document” – hooray!

If this GDPR themed blog wasn’t enough to make you snooze, please do enjoy the relaxing GDPR story instead and get ready for the digital apocalypse* after the 24th.

*Likelihood is that the GDPR debacle will quickly become yesterday’s news and there won’t be an apocalypse.